The Silence That's Necessary for Change

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about silence. Particularly two different forms they can take. One that needs to be expected and one that needs to be chosen.

The Silence That’s Expected

There’s the uncomfortable silence that comes once you’ve made a decision that will take your day to day in a different direction than what you’ve become comfortable with. This could be making a New Year’s resolution or setting a goal to do something different than what you are doing now. It could be deciding to pursue a different career path, or starting your own business. It could even be setting up boundaries for the first time because you realize that part of your life needs to change. 

The thing about this silence is that you don’t know that it’s coming but we need to start expecting it instead of being blindsided by it.

You have a moment of clarity that makes you decide to change. You know exactly why you are doing it, you see a glimpse of the future you will have if you decide to stick with it, & you have your plan. And then that feeling wears off. Sometimes it takes a day sometimes it takes months.

But that clarity & confidence always wanes. It’s a natural thing that happens. And that’s when the uncomfortable silence comes. When things slow down or you are confronted with the old ways of doing things & you need to consciously make the choice to make a different decision. It’s when the second guessing thoughts creep in, the discouragement, wondering if you made a mistake. 

We pretend that we are blindsided by this silence when the reality is that it will always come. It’s the natural flow of change, emotions, & growing into a better version of yourself. It is the thing that separates the many from the few. Only the few will choose to push through it. To wait it out. It is necessary to move through this silence in order to experience everything else on the other side. We can know this but it doesn’t make it any easier. I often think of this time as walking through a pit of mud. Every step requires effort but it is possible to take a step. 

The Silence We Create

It is the silence that is also necessary, but in a different way. This kind of silence is required to hear our own voice. To understand and deeply know ourselves. 

It’s the silence that comes with creating white space in your day. 

From the moment you wake up to the moment you fall asleep - your day is filled with opportunities to be reading, watching, listening. Our brains desperately need time to process, to have time to hear ourselves. If we don’t intentionally create that white space in our day, we will easily go through our day without it. White space is intentional time free from distraction, noise or external input.

Recently, I caught myself filling my time with “self-care things” in the name of taking care of myself, but what i was unintentionally doing was robbing myself of white space. When I was driving, I was listening to a podcast. When I was cooking dinner, I was listening to an audiobook. When I was walking, I was listening to music. All of these are good things - but it left me without pockets of silence in my day.

White space is essential to help us know how to move forward each day, to know who we are outside of the expectations of others or the roles that we hold. It creates a centeredness that cannot be achieved without it.

Shift Your Mindset & Put it into Practice

If you are facing the silence that comes with change: You just need to put your head down & keep walking. Fill up your pack with the nourishment you need to go the distance. You are rewiring your brain to accept this new state of being & to see that you are safe & this is good. You deserve everything you hope for. 

• Keep going through the motions that you set for yourself in the beginning.

• Write down the clarity that you had when you first decided to change

• Stay connected with your trusted people & prioritize spending time with them

• Find stories of people who have gone before you & listen to the them on repeat

If you are working on creating white space in your day: If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Just like with starting any new challenge in your life intention is everything. Ease into it instead of feeling like you need to be 100% perfect. You are creating this opportunity for yourself & you get to embrace it.

• Start with your existing schedule & make a small shift. (instead of scrolling while your coffee brews, opt for a 5 minute stretch instead)

• Opt for 5 minutes of white space each day.

• Reflect on if you’ve noticed a change by the end of the week.

Don’t be afraid of the silence when it comes into your life. Embrace it as an old friend, because on the other side is a feeling of ease & groundedness that only comes with being able to sit in your own thoughts. This topic feels a little closer to home for me this month, if you resonated with these thoughts I shared, I’d love for you to reply & let me know what your experiencing. It would mean the world 🧡

Cheers,

Lauren

• Box breathing is one of my favorite practices to do during my white space in the afternoon.

• Whether you have a medical background or not, you need to be watching The Pitt. It’s one of the best TV shows I have seen in a long while. P.S. the trailer does not do it justice.

• In an effort to hydrate my body, take care of my skin, & have a happy gut, I drink Glōci every day. Use the code ESSENTIALLYLAUREN at checkout to get 25% off your first order

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